Fiction writer. Expert procrastinator. This is my life.
About pushing myself to write more: trials and experiments, successes and failures.
Yesterday I wrote 90 words by 10 a.m., just before I took off for a day of fun.
I wrote 61 words today before lunch, even though I squeezed them in right before the line started forming at the big family cookout! ;)
I ditched the change to my mini habit that set my deadline at 10 a.m. I’m considering another option, and I plan to try it out tomorrow.
Ha! It’s been 14 days now. I haven’t missed a day of writing on at least one of the 4 novels I most want (and need) to finish asap.
I wrote 69 words for one story and deleted 98 from another, so technically, I’m not necessarily going to end the day positively unless I squeeze in just a bit more writing, but hey, it counts.
Having such a small goal has helped make this possible. I suspect that if I’d set my goal above 50 words a day I wouldn’t have made it to 14 days. I just did a quick average on my spreadsheet and I’ve averaged 164 words a day over those 14 days. That’s really not that bad, considering. That said, I’m about to change things. Nothing drastic, but I think I need to change my mini habit.*
Tomorrow I’m going swimming. I love swimming, and I’m hoping I won’t burn in the sun since tomorrow’s high is supposed to be around 83° F. I’m also hoping I’ll come home rejuvenated and ready to enjoy the holiday weekend. I need a break. A real break, not one that’s caused by procrastination and anxiety—something I can enjoy. I need more of those, and fewer of the other.
*Posted! Mini Habit Revisions.
Finally, a breakthrough! For 13 consecutive days I’ve written more than 50 words each day before lunch. Today, I wrote more words of fiction than I’ve written in a day since June 6.
Today’s total stands at 590 words. I had 623 on one story but then started working on a different project after lunch and went backwards with my word count because I deleted more than I added. But—one of my stories has 623 words more in it today than yesterday and that makes me happy. :D
It’s possible I’m not done for the day, but I feel good about ending the day here if I am.
I’ve been away from all my stories too long. I could feel that while I wrote this morning. Too many details wouldn’t come to me without effort, and some didn’t come to me even then. I had to leave a note for myself in the story to look up someone’s name. Usually I can go right to that kind of information, but I haven’t read through the 10,000 words that are already written in at least a month, possibly longer. I started the book on April 11.
I should read my stories (those that I’m actively working on), all of them, from the beginning, but that’s 63,000 words, and I don’t want to. I don’t usually have to fight this hard to read my own stuff. I mean, I usually do it for fun. :D And I’m a re-reader.* So … at first I was worried that it meant something was wrong—with all 4 of the books I’ve been working on! Then I realized that my disinterest in reading and writing signaled more about my state of health than about the state of my books, so I added some daily exercise to my routine, and more recently, daily reading.
*Books are almost always better the second time around. Without the tension of worrying what’s going to happen, I can enjoy the anticipation of the good stuff more. :D
I’m currently at the 70% mark reading the next book in my reading challenge. This one’s a full novel. My effort to create a daily reading habit consists of a 2 page a day goal. I’m reading considerably more than 2 pages most days, but I’m happy to say that I’m not letting it overtake my life as I’ve had a tendency to do in the past.
And I just had a thought. I can add a daily reading habit to my days for my fiction too. Another mini habit. 2 pages a day. I already store copies on my Kindle using the Send to Kindle app, so this isn’t going to be any trouble whatsoever, unless I catch up to myself. In that case, I’ll just start over at the beginning. Or, you know, write faster. ;) Or even read previous books in my series again, so I can stay immersed in my worlds.
I just do not write short paragraphs that often. Sorry about that. :D
My daily writing streak is 12 days long now. The numbers continue to be minuscule, but I’m excited to be writing daily again. I know, I know, it seems weird to be excited to have written 65 words, but it’s not a 0 on my spreadsheet and these last few days have felt like 0 word days so I feel lucky that I don’t have 0s on my spreadsheet.
That said, I hope I’m not done for the day. I really need to get back to some real writing.
It’s time to raise my daily writing expectations. That’s not to say I’m raising my required daily writing, just my expectations. If that’s possible. I mean, I hope it is. I don’t want to damage my progress, but the fact is, deadlines are looming—and fast. :o I need to write more than 50 or 100 or even 200 words a day, and I need to get started on that ASAP so I don’t screw up the last half of the year.
Also, I’m going to have to power through something that just isn’t working for me in the novella that just won’t end and deal with the consequences. That book has so not been worth it and I have no idea what happened.
Or maybe I do. I’m not writing what I thought I was writing. I stumbled over the focus of the story, and I’ve never recovered. I’ve gotten all tangled up in a rushed ending and I can’t see my way out. It’s like my brain is on a rail and I can’t get off. I keep looking for a different track—I’ve deleted thousands of words trying to backtrack and take a different rail, but I can’t reset my focus. So I’ve been trying to force things. As my current writing woes will attest, that hasn’t worked out well for me, and it’s bleeding over into everything I write until I just don’t even want to write.
I should abandon the book. I know I should. But I don’t want to. I want it done, so I can move on. Otherwise it will haunt me.
I’m serious. It will haunt me.
I have a hard time avoiding the trap of talking about my intentions instead of just reporting on my results. I do believe I need to work on that, so for the next few weeks, I’m going to make a concerted effort to not talk about what I’m going to do, and only talk about what I’ve done. :D
Yesterday, I wrote 178 words. It was day #8 of my current streak of no more zero word days (which has a 50 word minimum).
Now, off to write my 50 words so I can exercise, have lunch, and charge this laptop while I do. My battery is at 21%. :D
Also, there’s thunder rumbling outside. So that battery charge needs to happen asap. ;)
It took an hour of timed writing, but I wrote 289 words on the cursed novella. Think “curs-ed” not “cursed.” :D
Anyway … not that unhappy with that because at least it’s progress and I’ve managed to keep my “no more zero word days” streak alive for one more day.
It’s been one of those weeks. I already felt like I was off my game a bit because of finishing my last book, the holidays, and several lingering snow days that changed up my routine and completely derailed my new schedule. I really don’t want to admit this, but I’m not liking my new schedule that much. But … I also haven’t had a lot of opportunity to get used to it and I’m hopeful I’ll fall into it with more enthusiasm once things settle down.
I’ve had four zero days in a row though and yesterday was supposed to be a normal day but again, snow day!, and today is a delayed start day so (of course) I didn’t get up and get to work by 7 am. :D I’m kind of bummed that I didn’t make better use of my time yesterday but the last few days have been super stressful so I’m going to let myself off easy on that. Not today though. Delayed does not mean derailed!
I really don’t like my schedule though and I’m not sure what to do about it in the long term.
Today, however, I’m just going to focus on putting the time in and getting some words written. I’ll update at the day progresses; hopefully this will keep me focused and motivated. I want to see how much time I can spend writing between now and 4 pm 7 pm.
Like a mini-challenge. It’ll be fun! :D
9:52 am: 0 hours, 0 words
2:21 pm: 0 hours, 0 words
9:52 am to 2:21 pm I had a friend call that I hadn’t talked to in months and maybe I shouldn’t have, but I spent 2 hours and 54 minutes on the phone. :D
So, 4 pm is not going to work with this little mini-challenge now. I’m changing it so I can still get my time in today. Isn’t it great how I can do that? :D
Uh, oh. It’s like my post title wrote the future instead of reported on history. I didn’t get anything today.
So, no nap. I didn’t start at 3 pm either. Make it more like 6:30 pm and my only reason was … was … yeah, I didn’t have a good reason for that. Or any reason. It’s just been one of those days. I want to finish this book but maybe I don’t really want to finish this book. It’s been a hard one. It seems I’m always saying that whatever book I’m working on is the book that’s been my hardest to write to date, and yep, again, this is the book that’s kicking my butt.
As a side note, I’m definitely using this blog to avoid my next writing session (30 minutes, with 5-10 minute breaks between, and wow, considering the time (7:14 pm), you can do the math. I’ve done one and this is my first break ;) which has already stretched past the 10 minute mark) and I’m rambling.
Sigh. I like this book. Mostly. I reread some sections today to check on some continuity issues and there are parts that worry me. Like, the writing just sounds so … flat. And stupid. Yeah. That too. I’ve let this book drag on too long (the writing of, not the story!) and I’m becoming critical. Bad me. But the sentences are hard to follow and the pronoun usage is out of control and the—
Yeah. Time to move on.
I’m this much closer to being done: 309 words.
Uh, I better get back to work. :)
Update: I’ve managed to prove my status as an expert procrastinator this evening because here it is 11:05 pm and I still haven’t found the will to do even one more 30 minute writing session. I feel kind of … weak-willed at the moment. I really should’ve had that nap. ;)
I think I’m going to bed and starting this one over tomorrow. I’m just going to pretend it’s possible I can finish the book in one day. :D
Tomorrow: aiming for 5,000–6,000 words because if I don’t, I have zero chance of finishing this book this weekend. Even aiming at that word count, it’s going to be iffy I’ll get there.