Tag: What stops me from writing

My new year

LynnLeave a comment

I’m always trying to figure out what I want to do with this blog–how to make it work for me.

But it already does. I just forget sometimes that it’s okay for it to simply exist in the way that it does. I start to feel pressure when I notice that (nearly) everyone else in the blog business is trying to run a business.

Look, this is a blog. If you learn something here, it isn’t because I taught it, it’s because something I’ve said about my own journey and life resonated with you, and you did the work to apply it to your own life.

I ramble. I talk about my own struggles. This blog is like my body double so I can get closer to reaching my own goals. I need that accountability. I like writing about my failures. Maybe I’m too introspective. Maybe it slows me down. What I do know is that if I don’t write out these things they start to billow up inside me and make me feel like I’m ready to claw my way out of my own skin.

And I enjoy writing the blog for whatever reason. But I hate structured writing. Don’t like putting together essays or articles. It feels hard. It definitely isn’t fun.

This–stream of consciousness writing–is easy. It feels fun, and it relaxes me.

So here I am. It’s time to reset for 2025, a little early, I know, but is it ever really too early to do better? No, I don’t think so. :D

Welcome to my new year.

See you around.

P.S. If you have a blog that’s just a blog, let me know and I’ll share the link, for other writers who just want to read about someone else’s struggles with writing and publishing for a break from their own.

July 1-13 progress

Lynn

Time for another progress post. (Progress on what? Go here.)

As usual, the moment I made a plan for myself, I backed away from it—not in thought but in action.

Little things tend to disrupt me in big ways. That’s what seems to have happened with the keyboard issue I had to deal with this week.

I have the new keyboard installed. I have the new fan installed. I’m not liking the new fan, because it’s noisier than the old one and there’s a weird static-y feeling sometimes as I’m typing, and I think it’s the fan causing it. But overall, my computer and desk are once again set up the way I prefer for them to be.

Yet I’m still feeling disrupted.

Yesterday, I spent some time getting my little netbook that’s running on Lubuntu up to date with the latest LTS distribution. That led me to test a new idea I had for writing away from my desk. I liked it. The keyboard is small but I have small fingers. I used my backup file that I send to Dropbox every day when I finish writing, opened it in LibreOffice Writer, renamed it immediately and saved it in a different Dropbox folder, then just started writing in it.

The big thing for me about working on the same book in multiple places is that I like to see what I’ve written as I work but I do not want to move my master document off my main computer or into Dropbox. Dropbox is for my backup files or for copies of files I want to access elsewhere. I just do not want my master book files stored in any cloud-syncing folder on my computer. I sync my files to my Dropbox folder using yCopy2 and that’s the way I like it.

This means I can’t edit the file I opened on the little netbook, though, or I’ll have a mess on my hands.

It’s one thing to just copy and paste some text from one file to another, but if I were to have to incorporate edited and changed text…? No way am I going to do that. On the other hand, I don’t mind being forced to stop editing and just write, because I do have a tendency to edit and rewrite a lot even when I don’t plan to.

I quite liked this other option for working on my books. It means I can get away from distractions of my main computer while not losing access to the whole document I’m working on, also without risking the integrity of my master document.

All that said, though, I need to be writing more. The disruptions I’ve dealt with this month hasn’t been good for the word counts.

I’ve had too many days this month where I just haven’t forced myself to sit down and write, even though I needed to.

My July-to-date word count: 4,968.

For the moment, I’m going to focus on my 2,000 words a day and go from there.

Taking another run at “The End”

Lynn

It’s the day after the day after Thanksgiving and I’m disappointed to say that I really didn’t get much done yesterday when it comes to writing.

I’m taking another run at “The End” today. The last time I tried, I was still using timers. Today, I’m not planning on using any timers. Can I stay focused without them? I actually don’t know, but it’s important to me that I try to learn how.

The plan for today is simple.

500 words minimum.

Finish the book.

First up, as soon as I hit publish on this, I’m putting my Word doc front and center.

Second, I’m going to use willpower and stay off the internet until the book is done.

Third, today is the day I start trying to write more. I really want to get my daily average above 1,000 in 2018. I’ve been trying for years to improve, but the numbers just keep getting worse. The less often I write, the harder writing feels. Gotta fight that the only way I know how. I have to write more. It starts with a 500 words a day minimum and an effort to always push for a little more.

Fourth, I can no longer care about the quality of my work. I have to focus on having fun writing stories. Typing fast. Finishing fast. I can’t let another book take this long to finish. Each of these are part of my effort to bury my inner critic. That critic is killing my desire to write fiction, and since writing fiction is how I want to keep making a living, the critic has to go.

How do I train myself to write freely? Not sure! But I have to try. Otherwise, I’m going to give up writing. I can’t keep going the way I have been. I remember when writing was FUN.

That truly is the worst part. Being able to remember the fun of it makes it impossible to accept that I just have to do it, whether it’s fun or not. Because I don’t. I can choose another job if this one loses its appeal.

But I don’t want to. I want to write. I just want it to be fun again.

It’s well past noon and I have not finished my words today

Lynn

That title says it all: it’s past noon and I still haven’t reached 1,557 words.

What happened? I couldn’t stay focused and on task today.  At ALL.

It’s 4:16 in fact and here’s what I’ve done: I have 16 minutes left on my first 45 minute timer and I’ve written 346 words. That’s actually pretty good, because eyeballing that, it means I was writing at about 700 wph.

I was really into my scene too. But I started to get anxious and I had to take a break. Sometimes that happens when I’m thinking too hard or something. I get so excited that I have to jump up and move around or I feel like my brain is going to explode. It doesn’t really make sense but it can really derail what’s shaping up to be a great work session.

Well, it derailed my session, and although I’ve had multiple hours since all to myself and perfect for writing, it’s like I’m afraid to start again.

But it’s time. I really want to reach that minimum and I’m not going to do it by avoiding that timer!

Oh, and no more forums today until after I write those words! I am officially banning myself from all other internet uses until my spreadsheet shows 1,557 words for today’s count. >:{