Why am I even writing these posts?

Saturday, I didn’t expect to get much writing done at all, because I had blocked off noon until 7 pm for a family event. Somehow I managed to get up Saturday morning and get started quickly, and I did two sessions for a total of 1.516 hours of timed writing making it to 814 words. After 7 I was too tired to even look at my computer. :o

Sunday, I expected to get a lot of writing done, but I totally flaked out and didn’t do any. Nada. It was a weird day, tbh. I spent too much time in a reflective, depressed mood and I didn’t like it. Not sure what happened there.

Today, I’m going to write today’s three hours, then yesterday’s three hours and then Saturday’s 1.484 remaining hours and see where it takes me. A 7.484 hour day is a huge challenge but strangely enough, I feel up to it today.

*I don’t have an answer for the question posed in the post title, so… no point discussing it.

Stop thinking so hard and just let the words come

Stop thinking so hard and just let the words come.” That’s the note I’ve written to myself in my notebook and those are the first words I saw when I looked at it beside me in hopes of coming up with a title for this post. :)

I’ve spent some time writing today, although only a little, but I don’t know how much because I forgot to start the timer. The fact is, I needed to write a lot today but I let an assortment of interruptions throughout the day keep me away. Now it’s 9:05 PM and I really need to push myself to write for three hours before I go to bed. Any interruptions at all will keep me from reaching that goal, simply because I can’t really afford to go to sleep any later than 1 AM, and I’ll have to finish those three hours by 12:30 at the latest.

I’m going to have to try, but I don’t feel very hopeful. Sadly, that’s probably going to work against me.

On the other hand, I do have to try, so here I go before I waste too much time on this post. It’s now 9:07 PM, probably a record for me and a post! :D


Update:

I didn’t make it to three hours but I did end up with 1.95 which is kind of great, considering how I felt when I started. It only amounted to 322 words, but I made it completely through chapter 16 and started on chapter 17.

Self-discipline is a skill: skills take practice and practice takes time

I did not reach any of my goals yesterday. (1557 words, 3 hours writing, finish editing chapters 15 and 16.) I wrote for 2.633 hours and added 122 words to chapter 15.

I didn’t take drastic measures with those chapters as I said I would because things were actually going well with the story. I just couldn’t concentrate, and there didn’t seem to be anything I could do about it. I even turned to a cup of coffee, which didn’t help at all. >:{

Today I am going to finish going through chapter 15 and 16 and I’m going to do it before I stop for lunch.

After lunch, I’m going to write.

Today also begins a fresh start on my 1,557 words a day goal. I’ll also be requiring at least three hours a day of writing from myself. I will require this every day, with few exceptions. I’m doing this because I’m starting to believe self-discipline is something you need to practice regularly, and without it, you’re never going to get the most out of yourself long-term.

I accept that I’ll fall short on the word counts sometimes, because I haven’t changed my writing process and I do end up with days where I delete more than I write. This isn’t about perfection. But by requiring three hours a day from myself, I make it much more likely that on my good days, I might make up some of those lost words. And on days where three hours just doesn’t cut it, I can keep pushing for those 1,557 words.

My biggest hope is that over time I’ll fall into a routine that maximizes the number of words I write in the most reasonable amount of time by consistently staying involved in my story worlds. I’ll stop losing momentum to month-long breaks and I’ll lose less time to massive read-throughs and edits like the one I’m stuck in the middle of now, because I’ll be working on my stories every day. Even if I can’t maintain the three hours and 1,557 words a day pace working on just one story, I can work on other stories. I already know I have that capability.

I’m going at this to build stamina for writing. What I write isn’t as important as the writing itself. Plus, I don’t want to hamstring myself by limiting what I can write. Some days there will be stories I won’t feel capable of or ready to write. Those days need a back up plan. That back up plan is to write something else.

Three hours a day is twenty-one hours a week, and that’s not that much time at all to devote to what is undoubtedly my life’s work.

Overdue books, procrastination, and a writer’s income

Today has been an excellent day for writing.

Unfortunately, I haven’t written a thing. It’s now 9:48 pm and I don’t really have a choice: I have to find it in me to start writing.

I have an overdue book to finish writing (personal deadline—learned my lesson about setting public ones) and a dire need for money in my bank account. So, yeah, don’t bother trying to hack my accounts. You’ll be disappointed. I haven’t been writing anywhere near enough every day, since about the time my children started graduating from high school and heading to college, and it’s starting to show.

All that said, I need to get some income coming in or come November, I’m going to be looking for one of those seasonal jobs writers sometimes need to make ends meet while writing the next book. I would be really embarrassed to do that, if only because I know the only reason it would be necessary in this instance is because I can’t make myself sit and write for two to three hours a day.

Talk about the pain of facing up to your deficiencies. It’s something I’d rather not know about myself, and yet, know it I do. I have pushed it to the last possible moment and now I’m in desperate need of finishing this book.

And there’s the twist. I just went to check on the stray cat that’s been acting weird all day and the curl of dread in my stomach has been justified. He is a she and she’s delivering kittens. Dammit.